I can't let you out, Hedwig.
I'm not allowed to use magic outside of school.
-Besides, if Uncle Vernon-- -Harry Potter!
Now you've done it.
He's in there. Vernon?
I'm warning you, if you can't control that bloody bird, it'll have to go.
But she's bored.
If I could only let her out for an hour or two.
So you can send secret messages to your freaky little friends? No, sir.
But I haven't had any messages from any of my friends.
Not one...
...all summer.
Who would want to be friends with you?
I should think you'd be a little more grateful.
We've raised you since you were a baby, given you the food off our table...
...even let you have Dudley's second bedroom...
...purely out of the goodness of our hearts.
-Not now. It's for when the Masons arrive. -Which should be any minute.
Now, let's go over our schedule once again, shall we?
Petunia, when the Masons arrive, you will be...?
In the lounge, waiting to welcome them graciously to our home.
-Good. And, Dudley, you will be...? -I'll be waiting to open the door.
Excellent.
And you?
I'll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending that I don't exist.
Too right, you will.
With any luck, this could be the day I make the biggest deal of my career...
...and you will not mess it up.
Harry Potter, such an honor it is.
-Who are you? -Dobby, sir. Dobby the house-elf.
Not to be rude or anything...
...but this isn't a great time for me to have a house-elf in my bedroom.
Yes, sir. Dobby understands.
It's just that Dobby has come to tell you....
It is difficult, sir. Dobby wonders where to begin.
-Why don't you sit down? -Sit down? Sit down?
Dobby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you or anything.
Offend Dobby?
Dobby has heard of your greatness, sir...
...but never has he been asked to sit down by a wizard, like an equal.
You can't have met many decent wizards then.
No, I haven't.
That was an awful thing to say.
-Bad Dobby! Bad Dobby! -Stop, Dobby. Dobby, shush.
Dobby, please, stop.
Don't mind that. It's just the cat.
-Bad Dobby. -Stop! Stop, Dobby. Please, be quiet.
Are you all right?
Dobby had to punish himself, sir.
Dobby almost spoke ill of his family, sir.
-Your family? -The wizard family Dobby serves, sir.
Dobby is bound to serve one family forever.
If they ever knew Dobby was here....
But Dobby had to come. Dobby has to protect Harry Potter. To warn him.
Harry Potter must not go back...
...to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry this year.
There is a plot, a plot to make most terrible things happen.
What terrible things? Who's plotting them?
Can't say.
-Okay, I understand. You can't say. -Don't make me talk. I--
-Dobby. Dobby, put the lamp down. -Bad Dobby.
So when they arrive at the ninth hole....
Give me the lamp.
Dobby, stop!
-Let me go. -Get in there and keep quiet.
-What the devil are you doing up here? -I was just--
You just ruined the punch line of my Japanese golfer joke.
Sorry.
One more sound and you'll wish you'd never been born, boy.
-And fix that door. -Yes, sir.
See why I've got to go back?
I don't belong here. I belong in your world, at Hogwarts.
-It's the only place I've got friends. -Friends who don't write to Harry Potter?
Well, I expect they've been....
Hang on. How do you know my friends haven't been writing to me?
Harry Potter mustn't be angry with Dobby.
Dobby hoped if Harry Potter thought his friends had forgotten him...
...Harry Potter might not want to go back to school, sir.
-Give me those. Now. -No!
Dobby, get back here.
Dobby, please, no.
Harry Potter must say he's not going back to school.
I can't. Hogwarts is my home.
Then Dobby must do it, sir, for Harry Potter's own good.
It spread as far as the eye could see, all over the floor of this building.
One plumber said, " Look at all that water."
The second plumber said, "Yes, and that's just the top of it."
I'm so sorry. It's my nephew. He's very disturbed.
Meeting strangers upsets him. That's why I kept him upstairs.
You're never going back to that school.
You're never going to see those freaky friends of yours again. Never!
Hiya, Harry.
Ron. Fred. George. What are you all doing here?
Rescuing you, of course. Now, come on, get your trunk.
You better stand back.
Let's go.
-What was that? -What was it?
Potter!
Dad, what's going on?
Go. Go. Go.
Dad, hurry up.
-Come on. -Come on, Harry, hurry up.
Petunia, he's escaping!
-I've got you, Harry. -Come here!
-Let go of me! -No, boy!
You and that bloody pigeon aren't going anywhere.
-Get off! -Drive!
-Right. -Right!
No! No! No! No!
Dad!
Damn.
By the way, Harry, happy birthday.
Come on.
Okay, come on.
-Think it'd be all right if we had some? -Yeah, Mum will never know.
It's not much, but it's home.
I think it's brilliant.
Where have you been?
Harry, how wonderful to see you, dear.
Beds empty. No note. Car gone.
You could have died. You could have been seen.
Of course, I don't blame you, Harry, dear.
They were starving him, Mum. There were bars on his window.
Well, you best hope I don't put bars on your window, Ronald Weasley.
Come on, Harry, time for a spot of breakfast.
Here we are, Harry. Now, tuck in.
That's it. There we go.
-Mummy, have you seen my jumper? -Yes, dear, it was on the cat.
Hello.
What did I do?
Ginny. She's been talking about you all summer. A bit annoying, really.
-Morning, Weasleys. -Morning, Dad.
-What a night. Nine raids. Nine! -Raids?
Dad works in the Ministry of Magic, in the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office.
Dad loves Muggles, thinks they're fascinating.
Well, now.
And who are you?
Sorry, sir. I'm Harry, sir. Harry Potter.
Good Lord. Are you really?
Well, Ron has told us all about you, of course. When did he get here?
This morning.
Your sons flew that enchanted car of yours to Surrey and back last night.
Did you really? How did it go?
I mean-- That was very wrong indeed, boys. Very wrong of you.
Now, Harry, you must know all about Muggles.
T ell me, what exactly is the function of a rubber duck?
Well, that'll be Errol with the post.
Fetch it, will you, Percy, please?
-Errol. -He's always doing that.
Look, it's our Hogwarts letters. They've sent us Harry's as well.
Dumbledore must know you're here. Doesn't miss a trick, that man.
-No. -This lot won't come cheap.
-The spell books alone are very expensive. -We'll manage.
There's only one place we're going to get all of this. Diagon Alley.
Right.
Here we are, Harry. You go first, dear.
But Harry's never traveled by Floo powder before, Mum.
Floo powder?
You go first, Ron, so that Harry can see how it's done. Yes.
In you go.
That's it.
Diagon Alley.
You see? It's quite easy, dear. Don't be afraid. Come on.
Come on.
In you go. That's it. Mind your head.
That's right. Now, take your Floo powder.
That's it, very good.
Now, don't forget to speak very, very clearly.
Diagonally.
-What did he say, dear? -Diagonally.
I thought he did.
-Not lost, are you, my dear? -I'm fine, thank you. I was just going....
Come with us. We'll help you find your way back.
-No. Please-- -Harry?
Hagrid!
What do you think you're doing down here? Come on.
You're a mess, Harry. Skulking around Knockturn Alley? Dodgy place.
Don't want no one to see you there. People will think you're up to no good.
I was lost, l--
Hang on. What were you doing down there then?
Me? I was.... I was looking for Flesh-Eating Slug Repellent.
They're ruining all the school cabbages.
Harry. Hagrid.
Hello, Hermione.
-It's so good to see you. -It's great to see you too.
What did you do to your glasses?
Oculus Reparo.
I definitely need to remember that one.
You'll be all right now then, Harry? Right. I'll leave you to it.
-Okay, bye. -Thank you. Bye.
Come on, everyone's been so worried.
Harry.
Thank goodness. We'd hoped you'd only gone one grate too far.
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Gilderoy Lockhart.
Here he is.
Mum fancies him.
Make way there, please. Let me by, madam. Thank you.
Excuse me, little girl. This is for the Daily Prophet.
It can't be. Harry Potter?
Harry Potter!
Excuse me, madam.
Nice big smile, Harry. Together, you and I rate the front page.
Ladies and gentlemen, what an extraordinary moment this is.
When young Harry stepped into Flourish and Blotts this morning...
...to purchase my autobiography, Magical Me...
...which, incidentally, is currently celebrating...
...its 27th week atop the Daily Prophet bestseller list...
...he had no idea that he would, in fact, be leaving...
...with my entire collected works...
...free of charge.
Now, ladies?
Harry, now you give me those, and I'll get them signed.
All of you wait outside. That's it.
I'll bet you loved that, didn't you, Potter?
Famous Harry Potter. Can't even go into a bookshop without making the front page.
Leave him alone.
Look, Potter. You've got yourself a girlfriend.
Now, now, Draco, play nicely.
Mr. Potter.
Lucius Malfoy. We meet at last.
Forgive me.
Your scar is legend.
As, of course, is the wizard who gave it to you.
Voldemort killed my parents.
He was nothing more than a murderer.
You must be very brave to mention his name.
Or very foolish.
Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself.
And you must be Miss Granger.
Yes, Draco has told me all about you. And your parents.
Muggles, aren't they?
Let me see. Red hair, vacant expressions...
...tatty, secondhand book.
You must be the Weasleys.
It's mad in here. Let's go outside.
-Well, well, well. Weasley senior. -Lucius.
Busy time at the Ministry, Arthur, all those extra raids?
I do hope they're paying you overtime...
...but judging by the state of this, I'd say not.
What's the use in being a disgrace to the name of wizard...
...if they don't even pay you well for it?
We have a very different idea about what disgraces the name of wizard, Malfoy.
Clearly.
Associating with Muggles.
And I thought your family could sink no lower.
I'll see you at work.
See you at school.
-1 0:58. Come on. -The train will be leaving any moment.
Fred, George, Percy, you first.
Okay.
After you, dear.
Come on, Ginny, we'll get you a seat. Hurry.
Let's go.
-What do you two think you're doing? -Sorry.
Lost control of the trolley.
-Why can't we get through? -I don't know.
The gateway has sealed itself for some reason.
The train leaves at exactly 11 :00. We've missed it.
Harry, if we can't get through...
...maybe Mum and Dad can't get back.
Maybe we should just go and wait by the car.
The car.
Ron, I should tell you...
...most Muggles aren't accustomed to seeing a flying car.
Right.
Okay.
Oh, no! The lnvisibility Booster must be faulty.
Come on, then. Let's go lower. We need to find the train.
Okay.
All we need to do is catch up with the train.
We can't be far behind.
-Do you hear that? -We must be getting close.
Hold on.
Harry!
Hold on!
Take my hand!
Hold on!
I'm trying. Your hand's all sweaty.
-I think we found the train. -Yeah.
Welcome home.
Up! Up!
It's not working!
Up! Ron, mind that tree!
Stop! Stop! Stop!
-My wand. Look at my wand. -Be thankful it's not your neck.
-What's happening? -I don't know.
Come on, go! Fast!
Scabbers, you're okay.
The car!
Dad's gonna kill me.
See you, Hedwig.
So a house-elf shows up in my bedroom...
...we can't get through the barrier to platform 9 3/4...
...we almost get killed by a tree....
Clearly someone doesn't want me here this year.
Well, take a good look, lads.
This night might well be the last you spend in this castle.
Oh, dear, we are in trouble.
You were seen by no less than seven Muggles.
Do you have any idea how serious this is?
You have risked the exposure of our world.
Not to mention the damage you inflicted on a Whomping Willow...
...that's been on these grounds since before you were born.
Honestly, Professor Snape, I think it did more damage to us.
Silence.
I assure you that were you in Slytherin, and your fate rested with me...
...the both of you would be on the train home tonight.
-As it is-- -They are not.
Professor Dumbledore. Professor McGonagall.
Headmaster...
...these boys have flouted the Decree for the Restriction of Underage Wizardry.
-As such-- -I am well aware of our bylaws, Severus...
...having written quite a few of them myself.
However, as head of Gryffindor house...
...it is for Professor McGonagall to determine the appropriate action.
We'll go and get our stuff, then.
What are you talking about, Mr. Weasley?
You're going to expel us, aren't you?
Not today, Mr. Weasley...
...but I must impress on both of you the seriousness of what you have done.
I will be writing to your families tonight, and you will both receive detention.
Morning, everyone.
-Good morning, everyone. -Good morning, Professor Sprout.
Welcome to Greenhouse Three, second years. Gather around, everyone.
T oday we're going to re-pot Mandrakes.
Who here can tell me the properties of the Mandrake root?
Yes, Miss Granger?
Mandrake, or Mandragora...
...is used to return those who have been Petrified to their original state.
It's also quite dangerous. The Mandrake's cry is fatal to anyone who hears it.
Excellent. Ten points to Gryffindor.
As our Mandrakes are still only seedlings...
...their cries won't kill you yet.
But they could knock you out for several hours, which is why I have given you earmuffs...
...for auditory protection.
So could you please put them on, right away? Quickly.
Flaps tight down, and watch me closely.
You grasp your Mandrake firmly.
You pull it sharply up out of the pot.
Got it? And...
...now you dunk it down into the other pot...
...and pour a little sprinkling of soil to keep him warm.
Longbottom's been neglecting his earmuffs.
-No, ma'am, he's just fainted. -Yes, well, just leave him there.
Right, on we go. Plenty of pots to go around.
Grasp your Mandrake and pull it up.
-There's Nearly Headless Nick. -Hello, Percy, Miss Clearwater.
Hello, Sir Nicholas.
Say it. I'm doomed.
-You're doomed. -Hi, Harry.
I'm Colin Creevey. I'm in Gryffindor too.
Hi, Colin. Nice to meet you.
Ron, is that your owl?
Bloody bird's a menace.
Oh, no.
Look, everyone. Weasley's got himself a Howler.
Go on, Ron. I ignored one from my gran once. It was horrible.
Ronald Weasley!
How dare you steal that car! I am absolutely disgusted!
Your father's now facing an inquiry at work...
...and it's entirely your fault!
If you put another toe out of line...
... we 'll bring you straight home!
And, Ginny, dear, congratulations on making Gryffindor.
Your father and I are so proud.
Let me introduce you to your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.
Me.
Gilderoy Lockhart...
...Order of Merlin, Third Class...
...honorary member of the Dark Force Defense League...
...and five times winner...
...of Witch Weekly's Most-Charming-Smile Award.
But I don't talk about that.
I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at him.
Now, be warned.
It is my job to arm you...
...against the foulest creatures known to wizardkind.
You may find yourselves facing your worst fears in this room.
Know only that no harm can befall you whilst I am here.
I must ask you not to scream.
It might provoke them.
Cornish pixies?
Freshly caught Cornish pixies.
Laugh if you will, Mr. Finnegan...
...but pixies can be devilishly tricky little blighters.
Let's see what you make of them.
Come on now, round them up. They're only pixies.
-You just stay there! -Please, get me down!
-Get off me! -Stop. Hold still!
Peskipiksi Pesternomi!
I'll ask you three to just nip the rest of them back into their cage.
What do we do now?
Immobulus!
Why is it always me?
I spent the summer devising a whole new Quidditch program.
We're gonna train earlier, harder and longer.
What--? I don't believe it.
-Where you think you're going, Flint? -Quidditch practice.
-I booked the pitch for Gryffindor today. -Easy, Wood. I've got a note.
I smell trouble.
" l, Professor Severus Snape, do hereby give the Slytherin team...
...permission to practice today, owing to the need to train their new Seeker."
You've got a new Seeker. Who?
-Malfoy? -That's right.
And that's not all that's new this year.
Those are Nimbus 2001 s. How did you get those?
A gift from Draco's father.
You see, Weasley, unlike some, my father can afford the best.
At least no one on the Gryffindor team had to buy their way in.
They got in on pure talent.
No one asked your opinion, you filthy little Mudblood.
You'll pay for that one, Malfoy. Eat slugs!
You okay, Ron?
Say something.
-Wow! Can you turn him around, Harry? -No, Colin, get out of the way.
Let's take him to Hagrid's.
He'll know what to do.
This calls for a specialist's equipment.
Nothing to do but wait till it stops, I'm afraid.
-Okay. -Better out than in.
-Who was Ron trying to curse, anyway? -Malfoy. He called Hermione....
Well, I don't know exactly what it means.
He called me a Mudblood.
-He did not. -What's a Mudblood?
It means "dirty blood." Mudblood's a really foul name for someone who's Muggle-born.
Someone with non-magic parents. Someone like me.
It's not a term one usually hears in civilized conversation.
See, the thing is, Harry, there are some wizards, like the Malfoy family...
...who think they're better than everyone else because they're pure-blood.
That's horrible.
It's disgusting.
And it's codswallop to boot. Dirty blood.
Why, there isn't a wizard alive today that's not half-blood or less.
More to the point, they've yet to think of a spell that our Hermione can't do.
Come here.
Don't you think on it, Hermione. Don't you think on it for one minute.
Harry, Harry, Harry.
Can you possibly imagine...
...a better way to serve detention...
...than by helping me to answer my fan mail?
Not really.
Fame is a fickle friend, Harry. Celebrity is as celebrity does.
Remember that.
Come.
Come...
...to me.
-What? -Sorry?
That voice.
Voice?
-Didn't you hear it? -What are you talking about, Harry?
I think you're getting a bit drowsy.
And great Scott, no wonder. Look at the time. We've been here nearly four hours.
Spooky how the time flies when one is having fun.
Spooky.
Blood.
I smell blood.
Let me rip you.
Let me kill you.
Kill!
-Kill! -Harry!
-Did you hear it? -Hear what?
-That voice. -Voice? What voice?
I heard it first in Lockhart' s office. And then again just--
It's time.
It's moving. I think it's going to kill.
-Kill? -Harry, wait! Not so fast!
Strange.
-I've never seen spiders act like that. -I don't like spiders.
What's that?
"The Chamber of Secrets has been opened. Enemies of the Heir, beware."
It's written in blood.
Oh, no.
It's Filch's cat.
It's Mrs. Norris.
" Enemies of the Heir, beware."
You'll be next, Mudbloods.
What's going on here? Go on. Make way, make way.
Potter?
What are you...?
Mrs. Norris?
-You've murdered my cat. -No. No.
I'll kill you.
-I'll kill you! -Argus!
Argus, l....
Everyone will proceed to their dormitories immediately.
Everyone except...
...you three.
Ravenclaws, follow me.